I am starting to feel like time is closing in on me. The apartment doesn’t even feel done from the move let alone completely ready to take on a new tenet!
But we really are farther along with baby stuff than many I know are at this point. We have the furniture ready to go. I made the beds to get kitties used to them. We leave open the door to baby’s room now so the kitties will adjust. The car is cleaned out and maybe this weekend we’ll try and put in the seat. I have washed all my cloth diapers and used clothes and have almost finished readying the changing table. I have not opened any packages of wash cloths and receiving blankets, but I plan to wait until after the shower (on the 19th! YAY!), and wash all those together. Then there’s the covers, like for the swing and bouncy seat and whatnots. I need to get all that cleaned this weekend.
I feel like I’ve done so much and still have so far to go! Plus I keep thinking of new things!
Don’t get me started on this apartment! I want to super bleach clean the bathrooms and kitchen. I clean the hardwood floors decently once a week or so, so they aren’t bad. But it seems bathrooms, especially ones with the litter box, get so dirty so fast! Not to mention all the baby powder I am using to attempt to stay dry and clean this overly hot summer ends up all over our bathroom! I obsessively vacuum our bedroom which is where the baby will sleep when he comes home, so I really just want that to stay stress free.
I feel like it’s time to start saying, what do we need to have ready to go for the day that I say, he’s coming. I have my bag almost packed, but I know I’m missing something!
I really feel the need to keep up on dishes and laundry though it doesn’t always work out. I could just imagine the nightmare of going in to labor with a sink full of dirty dishes, a dishwasher full of clean ones, and a basket overflowing with dirty clothes! Then I’d have no energy for a few days to get to any of it while it just backs up more. Sure, Andy is great and helps with dishes when I ask or he notices I am having a hard time getting it fully wrapped up, and he carries the heavy laundry baskets for me. But I am a little OCD I guess, and I like to take care of these things myself. I know my mom and mother-in-law and aunt Tressie would be more than willing to help me around the house if I get behind and the baby comes, but I don’t want to. I want to be a Super Mom! I want to be able to do it all everyday without any help! Silly I know. But it gets harder and harder to sleep when I know I have something I haven’t finished around the house. As if this, a perfect clean and proper home, defines a good mother!
The fears are setting in for the labor and delivery as well. I have never tried it before. Giving birth. How do I know how to do it? I am reading. I am trying to get Andy to read about it. We are talking about things that are important to me. But what do we really know? Even if we took a silly class, I’d still not KNOW for sure. I do know that once I have been through it one time, it’ll be easier the next time. But for now, it’s all new. How will I even know for sure when it’s time to go to the hospital? I will ask the doc all these things, but I’ll still be unsure. Or maybe not. A lot of women say, Oh you’ll know! But what if I don’t? We have a half hour drive to the hospital and Andy has no desire to deliver his first born son on the side of the highway because I waited too long because I couldn’t tell I was in labor!
Did I mention this has been the hottest summer around here in about a million years? Cause it couldn’t have picked a better summer to be over 100 degrees all day everyday! At least out here in Sanger we get the nice lake breeze and we seem to be more prone to rain. Not that it cools it off for long, but it does help.
Speaking of rain, we had our first big storm in this apartment last weekend and found out that our windows leak! We were grateful to find out when we did and they’ve been “fixed.” So we’ll see how it holds. The problem is one window is right by where Little Andy will be sleeping. It did rain a little today and I don’t think it leaked, but it wasn’t a huge storm. Again, we’ll see. It is an apartment and they fix things for you but they have a tendency to use the band-aid system and the problems keep coming back.
In spite of all this anxiety, we are so happy and so excited. I can’t believe that the little guy that I feel rolling around in my abdomen everyday will be here in my arms within 2 months! Hopefully even less. In 4 weeks, I’ll be at full term, and he has about 5 weeks after that before he’s considered late. It’ll depend on how big he is on whether they’ll see the need to try and bring him early. He is a little above average, but that may mean he’s farther along than I thought. Which is an even scarier thought!
I know Andy and I will be great parents. We’ve talked so much about what is important to us for the last 7 years. We’ve grown and changed our opinions together, shared so many experiences that we’ve learned from and continue to seek those out. I have told him what’s important to me and he’s done the same. I am sure we are as ready as any two people can be. But that is not ever fully ready. Because as all parents will say, you just never know what it’s like until you’re there. And I like to plan. I like to make plans, have a plan, I don’t always follow it to the letter, but I like to make the plan. And I am having a hard time with not being able to make some plans. Not only do I not know when the baby will be ready to be born and how that will go, but I have not much clue of what it will be like after he is born!
Thankfully we have a great support system nearby! Many great grandmas will be a phone call away whether I just need to vent, ask questions, or need an immediate visit! We couldn’t be luckier!
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