Our Andrew Scott is 3 weeks old today and I can’t believe how big he’s already gotten! He’s gained at least 2 pounds since birth and over 3 inches. He’s such a big boy. And I see him changing every day. He looks more alert and I can see him growing. He’s even already outgrown some clothes!
All this, I feel grateful to say, is thanks to my breast milk. I love nursing him. He’s so good at it too! He latched on properly almost immediately and hasn’t had a problem since!
It really is the most amazing thing in the world. Growing him from my body, inside my body was pretty awesome but there’s just something even more incredible about making his food from my body. Not just feeding him through my blood. I make his food! And he eats it from me. I can’t describe for anyone who hasn’t experienced this how cool it is. It makes me feel a connection to him on a level that we cannot see with our eyes.
If he’s napping and I see him stir or hear him grunt and coo, I will produce milk. I can feel it coming in! Thankfully I have gotten a free manual pump from WIC and I use that to start storing up some reserves whenever I get that.
Sometimes he needs to nurse for just a minute to help him fall asleep. Sometimes he wants to eat a full meal. Sometimes he just wants to look up at me. I can’t wait until he starts to really smile!
We are not on any consistent schedule just yet. I feel it is too early to try and force him in to one, but we are trying to follow his lead and cater to him. I feed him on demand and during parts of the day, that is every hour! We are back to about every 2 hours at night though, we were at every hour for about 2 nights last weekend. I thought I’d never be able to get out of bed!
Andy and I have rapidly turned our days and nights back around. I go to bed with my son at about 1030 or 11. He’s usually been asleep for about 4 hours already before that. I just started putting him in another room to sleep for that time. It’s been hard for me, but I just get up and walk in there to look at him. And it seems fair to him to give him a nice dark room to sleep in instead of with us in the living room while the lights are all on and noise and such, just because I want him close! It is still hard for me. I miss him every moment we are apart right now.
I must confess it is still a bit difficult having him separated from my body. Maybe that’s why the nursing is so special too. I still feel completely needed and connected to him then. And at night when we sleep, I can feel him.
The first few nights home when he slept next to me, I could feel his little feet kicking my belly from the outside and found it quite comforting. After months of feeling him every night kicking me from the inside, it helped a lot.
He is such a good baby! He is gassy though. I mean he farts a lot! Good thing he can get it out most of the time. He does get a little fussy when he’s stuck and he grunts a lot I think because he is working the gasses out. But it’s so cute. He also grunts when he’s ready to eat, right before he starts to cry for it. I am learning to read his hunger cues. Though I sometimes still mistake gas for hunger. Then he just pukes on me and then burps, and he feels all better and can eat again! We’ve had to take a few baths together after a bit of a vomiting on mommy! I love it!
Right now Daddy is taking baths with him almost every night. It helps me a lot. Andy gets in the tub and holds him while I wash him off. It’s a lot easier than trying to get Andrew to stay in any of the other things we have for him. He’s too big! And it increases the bonding with Daddy. Andrew will just lie in Andy’s arms and stare up into his eyes the whole time. It’s adorable! Every now and then he’ll glance over at me as I wash him and be like, ‘Oh you’re here too, ok.’
Sometimes, when Andy is the only one who can calm Andrew down when he’s upset or fussy, I get sad and feel like I am just a boob. Just a food source and not good at making him feel better in any other way. But then I realize that Andy and I are different people, and we both have special things about us we can offer our child and they are different things unique to us, and that is what is important. And I am not just a boob to my baby. I am a great source of comfort for him many times. But sometimes he really just needs his Daddy.
I couldn’t be happier!
Especially now that we are getting some sleep and not going to 4 doctor visits a week!
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