We’ve been home for almost a week now and it seems like the time has been flying by already!
Andrew Scott Goin was born on October 4th at 847am after over 12 hours of labor.
I must say, I puzzled quite a bit about what labor would be like and feel like before it happened. I read accounts from women after they’d had their babies and what their labor experiences had been. They all agreed it was the most pain they’d ever had, yet I could not imagine it. Well, let me tell you, it was the worst pain I have ever had!
It started Tuesday at my weekly doctor visit where he stripped my membranes, a kind of natural induction. We also scheduled an official induction for one week later if he didn’t come on his own by then. Because of this, the doc wanted us to have a couple of procedures done to check the baby, a sonogram for measurement, movement and to see breathing and a non-stress test to check his heart rate with his movements. Unfortunately we hadn’t eaten since breakfast and my little pumpkin was asleep for his sono and wouldn’t move or do his practice breathing. This concerned the doc so much so that while we were at the Labor and Delivery having the NST done, he said to go home and return the next morning for a follow up sono. It was neat being on the monitors because it affirmed for me that the pains I’d been having for a couple of days actually were contractions! And I honestly thought they weren’t that bad. Painful and not what I thought they’d be, which was why I didn’t know they were contractions, but not so bad I didn’t think I could handle it.
Then we went home and things got bad fast. I started having very regular contractions almost immediately after we got home and I was bleeding from my earlier doctor visit. Andy was timing my contractions on the computer and the closest ones were about 3 minutes apart so he said, we needed to go. I was really afraid we’d go all the way to the hospital only to be sent home in false labor and I couldn’t bare the idea of leaving there with an empty car seat! But I said we could go after I took a shower and shaved my legs, you know how it is! That was easier said then done with contractions coming minutes apart. But I made it through that and washed my hair and got it dried and Andy was rushing me out the door!
We got to the hospital and got all checked in and hooked back up. Our nurse was very nice and I told her I hope we can stay; she seemed to think without even checking me that this baby was coming tonight. I guess working L&D for almost 20 years you get an instinct about such things.
She was very nice and understanding about my birth plan but reminded me that this is going to get worse and there’s no need to suffer when I don’t have too. And it can slow labor when I am not relaxed and distress the baby so she encouraged us to stay open minded. Which Andy and I had already decided to be anyway. The fear of the epidural came mostly from the needle in the spine thing and the fear of it being messed up, but we had no idea what we were getting in to.
Between contractions at this point I felt so good, almost euphoric. It was like the moments of pain were so bad that it made the moments of ‘normal’ feel like extra good!
I got in the tub for a while and labored when I’d been laying on the bed laboring in pain for a couple of hours. The grandmothers on Andy’s side were there being supportive and after I got in the tub, my mom showed up. The tub helped but after about an hour there I felt like I wanted to sit on solid ground again. I was already starting to think that I couldn’t do this. The moments of euphoria were getting shorter and shorter!
I managed to labor for about 6 hours medication free but as the contractions got closer and closer, I needed something to help me. I wanted to try the IV drugs first because of my fears of an epidural although I had heard some women say the IV drugs didn’t help. This turned out to be my experience also!
The IV drugs made me feel like I was so doped up and out of it. The nurse said I needed to rest and try and sleep, but I would get sleepy between contractions and then wake up for every one and feel all of it! So that was a bummer. Didn’t help much at all really.
My mom and Andy’s mom were so helpful during this time. Tressie had to leave since she was on call but she was back in time for the birth. Our mom’s would rub my hips and legs through my contractions one on each side as I moaned and groaned and was probably a total bitch. Plus I could hear them all chatting in the background of my doped up mind and it soothed me.
Andy was so sweet and comforting to me. He kept telling me how proud of me he was and how strong I was being and helping me to remember to breath. He was an awesome coach and handled seeing his wife in such pain very well.
Shortly after the meds were given maybe 2 hours, I have no concept of the time, I was getting worse. It felt like I had no time to relax between contractions, and my water wasn’t breaking, and I wasn’t progressing very fast. The doctor came in and said he wanted to break my water and I freaked. I knew once that happened the contractions would really kick it up a notch or two and I was already getting such feelings of fear when I could feel each one approaching.
I cannot tell you if you have never had kids what this pain was. Just like I could not have been told beforehand myself. All I can say is it was much much more than I thought it would be and unfortunately I was unprepared and unable to handle it. I told Andy I couldn’t do it. I said, that’s it, I can’t do this anymore, I’m so scared. He went and talked with the doctor and the nurse about me having an epidural. I wanted one at this point because I was more afraid of the pain of the next contraction than of life long paralysis from a missed needle in the spine! He felt better after talking with them and we agreed I’d try it out. I am so glad I did. I always used to say I’d try anything once, so I am glad I got to experience the epidural. I had a little guilt about not going completely drug free and then some about getting the IV drugs because they doped me up so much, but I am over that now. I feel like I had a complete labor experience. I made it for half of it with nothing and experienced that, a few hours of IV help, which I will never do again, and an epidural, which I will get next time if I need any help. Perhaps if I had been more prepared and known what to expect and my body had done it before, as will be the case with the next child, I can make it through with nothing. Though to be honest I couldn’t imagine pushing him out without the epi!
So after I got that the doc was going to come back and break my water and they were going to start pitocin to speed the process. I didn’t want the pitocin, I wanted my baby to want to come out! I really felt like he did though. That whole day I’d felt like he wants to come out. And the nurse managed to get my water to break on my next check and after that we were rolling.
It was probably another hour or so maybe even over 2 before it was actually time to push. We made it through shift change!
Two things went wrong with the epi that had concerned me and been partial reasons why I didn’t want it. In hindsight, I’d rather have it than not, even with these things. The first one was, it didn’t work too well on both sides. My left side was numb but my right was not. And as time went on, it wore off completely on my right side, which had been my most painful side all along! Of course! I ended up getting a second dose about an hour or so (who knows my time concept was so screwy!) before time to push. This led to my other problem, I couldn’t walk for about half the day. But that was kind of cool! So yeah, overall, thumbs up to the epi.
The moment arrived, I was complete, the doc was called and my new nurse told me it was time to start some light pushing. I am getting a little teary right now just thinking about it and how it felt in that moment knowing I’d see my son very soon. She told Andy how to help and we did some little pushes to move his head down in to position. Then she coached me on some smaller pushes to keep him there until the doc came in.
It wasn’t long before the doctor arrived and he said I looked much better than the last time he saw me and let’s do this!
I won’t get too graphic but I do want to say I pushed about 3 really hard pushes before his head came out. Then short break and maybe 3 more pushes total with Daddy’s help and this little baby’s body was laid across my lap with all this gorgeous hair. All fingers and toes and major parts were accounted for, and I wanted to nurse him right away, but once the cord was cut by the doc the nurse took him to his little bed by my bed and cleaned him up a little while the doc fixed me. Andy videoed the babyl from that point on and I watched him as he almost burst in to tears while the nurse cleaned our first son.
It was so amazing and awesome and the greatest thing I have ever done. He was returned to me and I nursed him immediately and he was a pro! Latched right on and knew what to do. I felt an immediate connection to this little being, this little human, that I’ve never felt before.
We had wanted these first few moments to be just for us and our newly born family and the grandmothers respected that for only a few moments. Soon though they couldn’t stand it and had to come it. It was fine. He was in our arms at last and nothing else mattered.
He’s so perfect. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful in all the world. We have really enjoyed him the first week. We are so exhausted, more than I’ve ever been in my whole life. Nursing is hard work. He needs to eat every few hours so I don’t sleep more than 3 hours at a time and I am lucky to do that once a 24 hour period and then get a couple more catnaps in as well. But he’s awesome. I’ll tell you more about our experiences with him next time. For now, see the videos. And check the link for our family album!
Our Family Photo Album, check back often, most pics will go here from now on instead of in the blog posts. If you want any prints, email me and we will get them for you!
